


It's Not Your Fault

by rbear23



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Steve McGarrett, Romance, SEAL Steve McGarrett, U.S. Navy SEALs, frienship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-04
Packaged: 2018-12-23 11:13:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11988645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rbear23/pseuds/rbear23
Summary: Eventual McKono with some Steve whump. Whole team angst. McGarrett gets redeployed, and Kono is waiting anxiously for him to return. This is the first fic I've ever written, so I really appreciate all feedback and reviews.





	1. Chapter 1

Steve POV

"I don't understand why you're so mad!" Steve exclaimed for the twentieth time while pushing the large, glass door open for he and Danny to walk through. "You Neanderthal! You just shot our best lead!" Danny replied, rolling his eyes.

Steve really didn't see what the big deal was. They would find another lead. The case seemed pretty straightforward to him. As they neared the center of the room, Steve could sense the tension between the cousins who were huddled around the table. He looked over at Danny to see if he noticed it too, but someone was more focused on the malasada he had found lying on the table.

"Chin, Kono, you guys good?" Steve questioned, wanting to know what was going on with his team. In the four years Steve had known them, he could could count on one hand the number of fights Chin and Kono had had. ""Yeah boss, we're fine." Kono replied, putting emphasis on the last word, implying that they were anything but fine. "There's someone here for you Steve. He's waiting in your office. Looks military." Chin said, ignoring both Steve's question and Kono's response.

"Navy?" Danny questioned, malasada crumbs flying out of his mouth. "Learn some manners, Daniel." Steve muttered as he walked towards his office, but his mind was somewhere else. What did the Navy want with him now?

Kono POV

Kono watched intently as Steve seemed to be having a very animated conversation with the mystery man in his office. "Kono?" Chin's voice drew Kono back to reality. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" Kono sighed, but knew that she needed to clear the air with Chin.

Kono followed Chin into his office, hoping the conversation wasn't going where she knew it was. "Look Kono, we don't even know what that Navy guy is here for. I'm sorry for suggesting that he might be here because he needs Steve to go." Kono knew she shouldn't have gotten mad at Chin. It certainly wouldn't be his fault if Steve got deployed. Kono couldn't help it though.

Even the thought of Steve leaving sent a chill down her spine. Kono loved Steve for how selfless, kind, and brace he was, but knew that during war, those qualities could mean trouble for her boss. "I'm sorry too Chin. I shouldn't have reacted like that. You're right, we don't even know what that man wants with Steve. I just...just..." Kono struggled to talk through the lump in her throat. "It's ok, Kono. You care a lot about Steve. It's obvious that he cares a lot about you as well. It only makes sense that you would get emotional at the thought of someone you love leaving."

Kono couldn't help blushing, even though she knew Chin, and most likely Steve as well, saw their relationship as strictly platonic. "Thanks cuz," Kono gave Chin a hug as they headed back to talk to McGarrett. The first thing Kono noticed when she walked out of Chin's office was Danny. He was silently leaning against the wall, staring into the boss's office. She couldn't remember the last time Danny had been that quiet. The next thing she noticed was even more shocking.

The visitor was gone. McGarrett sat on the couch next to his desk, with his face in his hands, and he looked on the verge of tears.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve POV

Steve felt like he couldn't breathe. He knew there were three pairs of eyes focused on him, and that was what he was most worried about. His team. His ohana. Steve understood his duty to his country, and accepted what the outcome would be, but if something happened to him, Chin, Kono, and Danny would never be the same, and he knew it.

Steve took a deep breath, composing himself, before standing up, silently signaling the team that they should come in. Steve turned around, not being about to look at the dread that was plainly written on their faces. He knew from that look that they had all already figured out why Commander Connelly had visited him. They just didn't want to believe it, either.

Danny finally broke the silence, "So... so when do you leave?" He asked, solemnly. Steve turned to face his ohana, struggling with how to deliver the news. "Tomorrow evening," Steve practically whispered. Telling them made it feel real. Steve watched as what he had just said registered on their faces. Danny looked shocked, confused, and scared. Even Chin, who usually kept his emotions in check, had a deep frown, and his eyes were angry. Steve knew the anger wasn't directed at him, but at the people who put him in this situation. Steve could barely even look at Kono. She was completely and utterly distraught. Steve's heart ripped into a million tiny pieces as the usually tough and badass woman broke down into tears.

Kono POV

Kono felt hot tears run down her cheeks. She couldn't even fathom the thought of Steve not being there everyday when she needed him. She needed Steve to be ok. If he wasn't... Kono didn't even want to think about it as she stepped towards Steve, who opened his arms willingly for her. Kono closed her eyes and tried to stop crying. She shouldn't be the one breaking down. Steve was the one getting sent to God knows where in order to do God knows what.

Kono could feel Steve breathing deeply, trying to keep his emotions in check as well. Kono knew she should let go of her boss, but she needed him now. His arms were warm and strong, and she felt safer there than anywhere else in the world. If she wasn't going to be seeeing him for a while, than she definitely wasn't going to let go now.

Steve obviously wasn't ready to let go either, as he had one hand was in Kono's hair, holding her head to his chest. Kono pulled away slightly, looking Steve in the eyes. His beautiful green-blue eyes were sorrowful, and she knew that he blamed himself for causing them all pain. "It'll be ok boss. As long as you come back, it'll be ok." Kono sniffled. "I will come back. I promise you Kono, I will always come back."

Steve squeezed Kono tighter before eventually releasing her. "Guys, do you mind if I have a minute alone with Steve?" Danny asked, trying to sound upbeat, but the waver in his voice told Kono that Danny was just as scared as her. "Of course Danny. C'mon, Kono," Chin replied, towing her towards the door. Kono knew Danny and Steve were like brothers, and that it was possible that he was feeling just as terrified, if not more, than her.

Kono didn't see Steve as a brother. No, that would definitely make the feelings she had for him inappropriate. They were borderline inappropriate anyway. He was her boss. And sadly, that's all she assumed he wanted to be.

Four Weeks Later

Steve POV

Steve shook off his Kevlar vest while running through the marketplace, and threw it at the two boys running beside him. Steve willed himself to go faster, knowing that he needed to get as far away as possible. He had promised Kono that he was coming back, and he fully intended to keep that promise. Steve heard the blast, and then everything happened in slow motion. He grabbed the girls in front of him into his arms, hopefully covering them, and prayed. Then, everything went black.

Kono POV

Kono eyed her calendar on the wall of her office once again. One month of Steve's three month deployment was already finished. She could get through this. She missed him terribly though. The team really just wasn't the same without him, and she had been counting the days until he would return and make the constant ache in her heart disappear.

Kono's phone rang, pulling her away from her thoughts about Steve. It was Danny. "Hey Danny, we got a case?" Kono questioned hopefully, needing a distraction to keep her mind off Steve. On the other end, Danny took a deep breath. "Just... just meet me and Chin at the palace Kono, it's... its about Steve." Kono suddenly found it hard to breathe. She couldn't manage to get out any words. "Kono, Kono!" Danny yelled, in response to the silence, "He's coming home." Kono knew that was supposed to reassure her, but it didn't. That meant that he had been injured in battle. Otherwise, he would be staying until his tour was completed. Images of Steve getting shot and tortured bounced through her head. This couldn't be happening. Somewhere, halfway around the world, Steve was injured and needed his family, but they were stuck on Oahu and couldn't do anything about it.

Kono finally found her voice, "I'm on my way, Danny." She said and hung up. She ran to her car, and strayed it, but before she could go anywhere, broke down into tears. The fear in Kono's mind was paralyzing. He had to be ok.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve POV

Steve opened his eyes, disconcerted by the bright and unfamiliar surroundings. Based on the fact that he was laying in a bed, and there was a man dressed in full camo on either side of him, Steve figured he was in the hospital. Upon closer examination, he realized that it was two members of his SEAL team who were passed out in plastic chairs near the foot of his bed. Steve prayed that those weren't the only two left, as memories of what happened in the market flooded him with emotion.

"Johnson!" Steve tried to yell, but it came out as a whisper. Steve recoiled quickly from the sharp pain caused in his chest by talking. He had forgotten that being in the hospital obviously meant that he was injured. He began to take a mental catalogue of his injuries. From what he could tell, he had at least three broken ribs, a dislocated right shoulder, broken right forearm, and his back hurt like hell, almost as if he'd beeen whipped. Based on the throbbing in his head, he also most likely had a concussion, along with a nice gash running all the way from the beginning of his eyebrow down the side of his face, almost to his chin.

Steve cleared his throat and tried to call louder, "Johnson!" This time, the Navy SEAL woke. His eyes sprung open, immediately giving Steve the once-over. "McGarrett! You're awake! How're you feeling?" Steve ignored the question, instead asking "How's the rest of the team?" "We're all fine, except for you, who decided to get yourself blown up." "What about the people in the village?" Steve questioned further, dreading the answer. "There were casualties." Johnson answered slowly and carefully, "But there definitely would've been a lot more if you hadn't jumped into action, man." Steve felt so guilty. Innocent people had been killed because of this op. That was on him.

Steve was relieved that at least the rest of his team was fine, though. Another though popped into Steve's head. His other team, back home in Hawaii. "Have they notified my team back home that I've been hurt?" Steve asked, knowing the answer, but wishing he was wrong. "Yep!" Johnson answered enthusiastically, but stopped smiling when Steve scowled. His team was probably worried out of their minds, not knowing the extent of his injuries. Before Steve could ask any other questions, the doctor walked in.

"Commander McGarrett, it's good to see you awake! I'm sure you've already figured out most of your injuries," the white-haired doctor greeted Steve, with a knowing look. He had obvioulsy treated many soldiers before. "Yes, sir," Steve replied, "'The only thing I don't get is my back. Why does it hurt so much?" Steve asked, knowing he could handle the pain, but at least wanting to know why it was there. "Well, Commander, that's what happens when you take off you Kevlar. You know, the military gives you that gear for a reason. You were impaled with quite a few pieces of shrapnel during the explosion." That made sense. Every time Steve took a breath, it felt like a knife was being twisted into his back. He didn't ask for more pain meds though, he needed to keep his head clear for the conversation he was about to have. "Hey doc, is there a SAT phone I can use?"

Kono POV

Danny burst through his office doors, and ran, knocking loudly on the glass windows of Kono's office, phone pressed to his ear. "It's Steve!" He yelled. Kono jumped up from the chair at her desk and sprinted the the smart table as Danny went to get Chin. They rushed over, and Danny set his phone down on the table, putting on speaker mode. "Hey guys!" Steve said happily, but Kono knew he was hiding the fact that he was in pain. Though she felt horrible knowing that, it still felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her shoulders as she heard Steve's voice. "Look, I'm sorry, I wanted to call you before the Navy could so you wouldn't worry, but I was kind of unconscious," Steve's voice sounded extremely guilty, even through the phone. "Did you really just apologize?" Chin asked, amusement in his voice

Kono wanted to speak, but she couldn't find any words. She was so relieved to hear from him, but at the same time, she was terrified about the feelings she was having. The past month of constantly worrying about Steve had made Kono realize how hopelessly in love with her boss she was. She wanted nothing more than to just have him here, home safe.

"How are you Steve, really?" Danny asked, suddenly sounding serious. Steve took a deep breath before answering. "You know, I'm actually ok." "Well how are you hurt?" Danny pushed on, not believing Steve's nonchalant answer. "It sounds worse than it is, and I don't want you to worry. I get home tomorrow and I can just show you then. I'm really fine, Danno." Danny grunted, obviously not believing a word Steve said. "Hey Kono, you there?" Steve asked, sounding eager. Kono still didn't know what to say. She simultaneously wanted to kiss him and make it better, yell at him for downplaying his injuries, and hug him to let him know it was finally all going to be ok. But mostly, she just wanted to see him.

"Yeah, boss, I'm here. I just... I just really want to see you," Kono said, fading in a whisper as she began to cry. Knowing that Steve had been so close to not coming home at all made her terrified. She just couldn't relax until he was at home, where he belonged. With her. "Don't cry, Kono," Steve tried to reassure her, "I'm coming home. I'm coming home."


	4. Chapter 4

Steve POV

Steve hung up the phone as he laid back in his bed. Chin and Danny had sounded relieved to hear from him, and he could sense their excitement about him coming home. Kono was a different story, though. It broke Steve's heart to hear her crying. Obviously, she had been worried out of her mind, and Steve felt guilty for putting her through that. Steve never wanted Kono to feel like that again.

Protectiveness flared up in his chest as he thought of Kono crying. He cared about her so much, and couldn't wait to see her tomorrow, so he could hug her and kiss her until the tears went away. Sadly, he knew in reality he would only be able to do one of those things. There was no way Kono felt the same way about him that he did about her. Kono was sweet, adorable, and badass, pretty much perfect. He had a broken past, filled with violence and problems.

Steve's thoughts were interrupted as a nurse came in. "How are you feeling today, Commander? Ready to go home?" Steve ignored the first question, instead answering the second with an enthusiastic, "You bet!" The nurse apparently wasn't going to let that slide. "I also asked how you're feeling." Steve thought about it, and finally gave in, knowing some more medication couldn't hurt too much. He didn't want the team to see him in a lot of pain when he got home.

"Honestly, my back and my shoulder hurt like hell, but pretty much everywhere else is just sore." The nurse seemed satisfied as she pulled some mess out of the drawer next to Steve's bed. "Thank you for telling me. I know you want to keep your head clear, but that doesn't mean you should have to be in pain. This is your last dose before you leave." Steve smiled, relishing in the thought of going home. He had missed everyone so much. His return was long overdue.

Kono POV

Kono was feeling very impatient as she, Chin, and Danny stood on the runway. It was a beautiful day, the sun shining brightly, palm trees swaying in the light breeze. If it was a normal Saturday, Kono would be up on the North Shore, catching some late morning waves, but today was different. Today was so much better. Steve was coming home. The plane had landed only two minutes ago, but that was two minutes too long in Kono's opinion.

After what felt like an eternity, the back hatch of the plane folded down, revealing about two dozen men decked in camo. Kono spotted him immediately, though. Steve. Kono took off at a sprint, not caring about anything else in that moment but seeing him. As she got closer, she could see a giant grin break out across her boss's face. "Steve," Kono breathed, cautiously stopping right in front of him. Kono wanted to wrap him up in a huge hug, but was terrified of hurting him. He had on camo cargo pants, standard military issue, and combat boots, but no shirt, as bandages wrapped around most of his abdomen and right shoulder. He also had a cast in his right arm, and it was in a sling. He had a massive cut running down the left side of his face, which Kono had the sudden urge to kiss and make better. To be honest, he looked like hell, but Kono thought he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. She had never been happier to see someone in her life.

"Come here," Steve whispered as he pulled Kono to him with his good arm. She had missed him so much. She went to wrap him up, but the second she put a hand on his back, Steve tensed. Kono immediately recoiled, realizing the bandages around Steve's middle must not only be for broken ribs as she had assumed, but a back injury as well. Kono quickly released Steve and was about to say how sorry she was, but was stopped by the look in his eyes. Steve looked like he wanted to apologize, but Kono couldn't imagine why. He hadn't done anything wrong. Kono knew Steve wouldn't listen rationally to her words though, so she just shook her head sadly at him, gingerly gave him a kiss on the cheek, and stepped back so Danny and Chin could have their turns.

Kono watched as the two men carefully gave their best friend a hug. "So Steven, this is what you call fine?" Danny started ranting. Kono smiled and rolled her eyes, though she had been thinking exactly the same thing. "I'm really ok, Danno, just a little sore," Steve said hurriedly, giving Danny pleading eyes. He obviously didn't want to get into what happened. Danny sighed, but Kono knew he loved Steve too much to force him into talking about something that was painful for him. Kono knew that because she felt the same way.

"Ok Steve, let's go home," Chin announced as he picked up Steve's bag and shouldered it, much to Steve's dismay. "Chin, I can carry my own bag." "Really, you think we're going to let you get away with that?" Chin teased as he walked towards the car. Steve sighed playfully, trying to sound frustrated, but the smile plastered on his face gave him away. Kono held the passenger door of the Camaro open as Steve got in, cringing as he winced. "I'm ok Kono, I promise." Kono didn't buy it, and scowled as she walked around the car to climb into the backseat on the other side.

The Camaro may have been a tight fit, but no one wanted to ride in a car away from Steve, so they had all ridden to the airport together. A comfortable silence fell over the car as they drove to Steve's house. Kono smiled to herself, not letting any of her worries get in the way of her happiness. Steve was home.


	5. Chapter 5

Steve POV

By the time they made it to Steve's house, he was exhausted. He let Danny help him inside, leaning on him heavily until they made it to the couch. Usually that would bother Steve, but he was too happy about being home with his family to let his pride, or pain, get in the way. He sunk back into the couch, closing his eyes. He was so glad to be back home. After a few moments, he opened his eyes, peering back over his shoulder. Kono was in the kitchen, busting herself by getting him a glass of water. Danny and Chin had grabbed two beers and walked out onto the lanai, probably talking about him. Steve didn't mind, his friends loved him, and he knew that this had taken an emotional toll on all of them.

Kono appeared in front of Steve, setting his glass of water on the coffee table. "Thanks Kono," Steve said graciously before taking a large sip. Just walking from his driveway to his couch, while being supported mostly by Danny, had tired him beyond belief. Steve knew that the doctor had told him that it could take a while to get back to his old self, but Steve hadn't realized just how far away from normal he was until now. Steve couldn't focus on those thoughts now though, as Kono's big brown eyes peered at him anxiously.

"Come sit with me," Steve ordered, and Kono complied without hesitation. She sat on Steve's left, not injured side. She was being cautious, not getting too close. While Steve appreciated that Kono didn't want to accidentally hurt him, she was frustrated that after what happened at the airport she was afraid to even touch him. Steve put his good arm around Kono and pulled her closer. She laid her head down on Steve's shoulder, all worry seemed to be gone. Steve began to absentmindedly run his fingers through Kono's hair. It was so soft. He had missed her so much. Just having Kono with him, knowing that they were finally together and reunited made Steve feel better than any medicine could.

"I missed you a lot," Steve admitted quietly, brushing his lips against Kono's ear as he spoke. "I missed you too," Kono replied softly into Steve's chest, before going up to kiss his cheek. Steve quickly turned his head, and Kono's lips landed on his. He was afraid that Kono would pull away, as at first he sensed apprehension, but that quickly faded into desperation and Kono melted into him and deepened the kiss. Steve kissed her back, and heard a moan escape him as she began to run her fingers through his hair. Steve couldn't believe this was happening. He had waited for this for so long. He slowly slipped his tongue into Kono's mouth, and they began to dance, as if made for each other. Steve heard the back door open, and somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that meant that Danny and Chin could see them, but he didn't care. Evidently, neither did Kono. She began to run her hands up and down Steve's chest, pulling him closer and closer. Steve couldn't help but groan when she touched his injured shoulder. It hurt like hell, but he didn't want her to stop. Kono had more self control than him though, and pulled away immediately, apologizing profusely.

"Kono, Kono, it's ok," Steve laughed through the burning pain in his shoulder. "It's ok." He chuckled, but at the same time wished Kono would realize how absolutely worth it that kids had been. Not just ok. Ok was the last word Steve would've used to describe what had just happened. He pulled Kono back close to him, needing to reassure her that he was here, and a little bit of pain was something he could deal with if it meant being with her. Steve softly placed another kiss on Kono's lips before he heard Chin clear his throat behind them.

"So...the doctor said someone needs to stay with Steve for at least a week while he's recovering. Danny and I were talking and we had thought he could, but it looks like you two might be wanting some alone time anyway." Chin said, raising his eyebrows mischievously. If he were anyone else, Steve knew Chin would be punching him right now, not laughing with him. Steve loved Chin like a brother, and was humbled that Chin trusted him with Kono. Steve planned on never breaking that trust.

Steve glanced over at Danny, who had been surprising silent so far. He was grinning like a fool. Steve could tell he wasn't shocked, and looked extremely happy for them. Steve was relieved. Though they argued all the time, Danny's opinion could make or break almost anything for Steve, and he really wanted to "make it" with Kono. Steve turned back to Kono as he felt he take his hand. "I guess I'd be willing to stay here, but only if you really, really want me to." She teased with a smirk. "You're going to make me say it? No problem. I would love for you to stay here, Kono."

Kono POV

Kono's heart jumped out of her chest at Steve's words. She couldn't believe that he felt the same way. She had wanted this for so long, and now that it finally happened, it had exceeded all of her expectations. She couldn't help but stare at the beautiful man sitting next to her. The man who had taken control and shown her what she deserved. She deserved to be happy with him. And she sure as hell thought Steve deserved whatever he wanted. If that was her, than she would stop at nothing to show him that he had made the right decision. "Ok, ok, as great as all of this mushy stuff is, I need to have a talk with Steven, please?" Danny spoke up, interrupting Kono's extremely mushy thoughts. Thank God Danny couldn't read her mind.

"Of course," Kono replied as she quickly got up off he couch, her eyes locked with Steve's the whole time. She didn't want Steve to feel like he had to been the one to get up and leave for his private conversation. He deserved to rest. Kono reluctantly followed Chin into the kitchen, already missing the feeling of Steve's lips on hers. She jumped up, sitting on the counter, and smiled to herself, knowing that she already had it bad. She guessed the conversation going on in the living room was Danny wanting to have a heart-to-heart with Steve. Maybe about her, but maybe about what he had been through while he was away. Kono knew that Steve would talk to Danny about the ordeal at some point, maybe today, or maybe a year from now, but she had no doubt that Steve would eventually tell Danny about what had happened while he was gone. Kono just hoped that one day Steve would feel comfortable and trust her enough to tell her as well.

"So cuz..." Chin began, dragging Kono away from her thoughts. "Save it Chin," Kono cut him off. They both knew that Steve would protect and take care of Kono better than any other man on the planet, and Kono wasn't about to let him start with the big protective cousin crap. Steve would never hurt her, and if Chin didn't know that, than he apparently hadn't been paying very good attention to his boss for the past four years. "I was just going to say that I approve. I can't think of a better man for my baby cousin to be with," Chin replied, his voice thick with emotion. Kono smiled, tearing up. "That means a lot cuz, and I know it will mean a lot to Steve, too."

There was no longer noise coming from the living room, so Kono and Chin assumed Danny and Steve's little chat was over. As they walked back in, Danny's voice immediately serenaded them. "So...we all know this isn't just some spur of the moment thing. Even before Steve left, you two had been making puppy dog eyes at each other for a while. I'm just glad it's finally official!" Danny exclaimed. Kono shared a glance with Steve. It wasn't exactly official yet, was it? Steve just smiled, which gave Kono the answer she wanted. He wanted to be with her. She wanted to be with him. That was all that mattered.

Chin and Danny stayed for about another hour, filling Steve in on all the best Five-0 cases he had missed. Kono snuggled into Steve's side, occasionally chiming in, but for the most part just being content with letting the boys catch up. She was staying with Steve now, and wanted both of them to get everything of their chests before they left. Kono knew it would be hard for them to leave Steve when he was this injured, especially Danny. As the conversation had come to a close, Kono could sense Danny's worry. He excused himself, saying he needed to go to the restroom before he left, but Kono didn't buy it. She followed him into the bathroom, where he had left the door wide open. He was standing over the sink, breathing heavily while looking at his reflection in the mirror.

"Danny, you ok?" Kono questioned, very concerned. "I think I might be having a panic attack." Danny responded quietly. "Just the thought of leaving him here. I mean, I know you're here Kono, and logically I know that you are more than capable of taking care of Steve, but I just can't shake this feeling." Kono wrapped Danny up in a big hug. "It's ok, Danny, I'm sure Steve would totally understand if you wanted to stay here tonight. He gets it." Kono replied sympathetically. "No, I'll be ok. I don't want to start a bad habit. I just need to tell myself that he's fine, and you're here, so he's going to continue to be fine." "Thank you, Danny," Kono choked out, feeling honored that Danny trusted her with Steve's safety. Danny was Steve's brother, and their bond was incomparable. Kono couldn't help but hope that one day others would look at her and Steve and think the same thing.


	6. Chapter 6

Steve POV

As much as Steve loved Chin and Danny, he couldn't help but feel relieved when they left. He was tired, and wanted to just watch some TV and maybe sleep without Danny hovering over him like a mother hen. He knew Kono understood that, as she returned to the couch silently after letting the two out, simply snuggling into his side. Steve let out a deep breath he didn't realize he'd been holding. This was what he wanted. What he needed. To be completely comfortable and just left to think for a minute. Steve couldn't help but gasp as a sharp wave of pain washed over his back, and looking at the clock, he realized it was time for more meds.

He looked down, to where Kono had quickly fallen asleep. Maybe he hadn't thought this through. Kono being here meant she was going to have to help him with everything, including redressing his bandages and even taking his clothes off to shower. He didn't want Kono to see him so... so weak. He knew Kono, which meant he knew that she wouldn't want him to feel any pain or be uncomfortable. She would do anything for him, including things that Steve's pride would not agree with her doing. He looked closely at her once again, softly snoring, her head laid on his good shoulder, one arm splayed over his chest, and the other sitting lazily in Steve's casted hand.

Their faces were close, and the smell of her coconut shampoo was doing crazy things to Steve's senses. He wished they could stay like this forever. Steve desperately didn't want to wake her up, but the pain in his back was becoming unbearable. He needed more pain medicine, and maybe even new bandages. He softly began to rub Kono's back with the arm she was laying on. "Kono, Kono," Steve spoke quietly, as Kono roused. Kono lazily opened her eyes and smiled, kissing Steve lightly, but making no intention to move out of her current position. Steve liked that.

It seemed like Kono finally realized that if Steve had woken her, it must've been for a reason, as she sprung up and looked around. "Do you need something?" Kono asked, looking concerned. "Just some pain meds, please." Steve tried to say calmly, but even he could hear the desperation in his own voice.

Kono POV

Kono knew he must really be in pain. Not missing a beat, she jumped up and ran to get the mess from the kitchen. She shook two pills out of the bottle, and quickly sprinted back to Steve, who luckily still had his glass of water from earlier. It pained Kono to hear Steve grown as he sat up, grimacing. After he took his pills, Kono was relieved to see him begin to relax. "How long were you awake, in pain, before you woke me up?" Kono asked, silently cursing at herself. She needed to be there for Steve when he needed her. "It doesn't matter." Steve brushed it off, nonchalantly. "It does matter," Kono pushed back, "You don't need to act tough around me Steve. You've obviously been through hell, and if I can help you in any way, you need to let me know." Kono scolded, with a hard edge to her voice. She needed Steve to know that his well-being was not optional.

Steve finally broke. "It was only a few minutes, Kono. Nothing I can't handle. But... I, I think I could use the bandage on my back changed." Steve said, his voice shaking as he ran his good hand through his hair. He looked extremely apprehensive, and Kono wondered why. Of course she would do this for him. Was he scared that she would hurt him? "Hey, Kono, I trust you. It's just that... you're not going to like what you see." Steve tried to reassure gently, reading her perfectly, but his voice was thick with emotion. "I get it, but I love you, Steve, and sure, seeing you badly hurt is probably going to upset me, but I can handle it." Kono replied, not realizing what she had said until she looked up and Steve was staring at her dumfoundedly, his mouth open and eyes shining with love. "Oh...I, I was just trying to say... that, ummm," Kono rushed, cheeks burning red, but she couldn't take it back, because it was true. She loved him, and she wanted him to know. "Kono," Steve interrupted her stumbling rant, smiling, "I love you, too." For most people, those words would change everything, but Kono realized that Steve was telling her what she already knew. He hadn't needed to say those words to reassure her of his feelings. It was just obvious.

Grinning like a fool, Kono leaned over and gently gave Steve a kiss on the lips, not wanting to get wrapped up and forget about the conversation they just had. Steve continued to stare at Kono lovingly, and she couldn't help but blush, feeling hot under his gaze. No man had ever gotten to her the way Steve McGarrett did. "Hey Steve, do you want to try to go upstairs? It's getting late, and I want you to be comfortable in your own bed tonight. Changing what's on your back might hurt, so it would probably be good to get upstairs before we do that." "Ok, Kono," Steve whispered, seemingly snapped out of his trance as he moved to get up. He groaned loudly was he pushed off of the coffee table with his good arm, until he was standing. Kono stood in front of him, watching carefully.

Steve seemed to be able to walk fine on his own, but very step was obviously painful for him. When they made it over to the stairs, Kono hurried to his side, ready to support him, and surprisingly Steve accepted her help without complaint. They went slowly, one step at a time, until they made it to the top. Steve leaned over onto the railing, breathing extremely heavily. Those broken ribs sure weren't making it easy for him. "C'mon Steve," Kono encouraged as she helped Steve the final stretch into his bedroom and carefully lowered him onto the bed. Kono excused herself to the bathroom, knowing that Steve would want a few minutes alone to compose himself. She grabbed some bandages and medical tape, quickly looking herself over in the mirror before heading back. Steve was sitting up, his breathing under control, and most of his color had returned to his previously pale face. Steve nodded at her, and Kono understood his meaning. Wordlessly, she began to take the bandage off. It was very tricky not to cause Steve pain. In the front were his broken ribs, and in the back were what Kono found to be long gashes. On top of that his arm had to be taken out of the sling and propped out of the way, which she knew had to be killing his shoulder.

Every time Steve would wince, Kono felt awful. Steve swore he was ok, but Kono knew better. When the bandage was finally off after what seemed like an hour, Kono got a good look at Steve. His chest and stomach were covered in bruises, which wasn't really a surprise. His back was unexpected though. There were small, one inch cuts all over, and four longer gashes, ranging from eight inches to over a foot and a half. Kono's heart broke, and she struggled to hold in a sob as her eyes filled with tears. "Steve... what happened?" Kono whispered through her tears. Steve sighed long and hard, but Kono knew he was about to tell her.

"We were in Afghanistan. I was sent to extract a high value target from a small village near the Iranian border. My team had the village surrounded. I was sent in alone." Steve shuddered, reliving the experience. "Hey, you don't need to tell me if you don't want to." Kono tried to reason, she didn't want Steve to feel like he was being forced to tell her. "No Kono, you need to know," was all the response she got. Lino took his hand, knowing he would need the support. "Everything was going according to plan," Steve continued. "I was walking through the market when I saw it. Underneath a stand selling kids toys, fucking kids toys, there was a large dirty bomb. There were four kids, two girls and two boys, walking towards the stand. They were just kids, Kono!" Steve shouted, his eyes becoming tearful, but he didn't stop. "I started yelling for everyone to run. We were all trying to get away, but I knew it was going to blow. I took off my vest and threw it at the boys to shield themselves, because I planned to lay on top of the little girls, and there wouldn't be room for the boys too. I heard it go off before I felt it. I grabbed the girls and tried to protect them underneath me. All for kids were ok, but others weren't so lucky. That village was filled with people. The marketplace was so crowded. It's my fault. The man I was trying to extract was targeting me. People died because of me."

Tears began to stream freely down both Kono and Steve's cheeks. Kono ached for Steve, and wished she could take some of his grief away. "It's not your fault," Kono whispered, "It's not your fault."

**Author's Note:**

> My first ever fic, so please review to let me know how I'm doing!


End file.
